Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Since Madden 13 is oh so very proud of their fictional Twitter feed I have decided to do my review as a fictional Twitter feed between EA and gamers: EAsports: New Madden is out and it is the best thing in history! What do you think? #BetterTheDayYourChildWasBorn AGamer: Hey I'm having trouble finding Franchise Mode. Where is it? EASports: Gone Bro! AGamer: What do you mean gone? It was the only thing that didn't suck. EASports: We have innovated and replaced it with Connected Careers! Like a boss! #ConnectedCareersBetterThanSex AGamer: WTH is Connected Careers? EASports: It is like Superstar and Franchise mode combined! Now you can be either player or a coach! Like a boss! #JesusWouldDoConnectedCareers AGamer: Couldn't we always do that? EASports: Yeah but not like on Connected Careers now you can go online and compete with friends! Like a boss! #INeedACigaretteAfterConnectedCareers AGamer: You mean like the online play we've had the last 4 years? What evs I'll check it out. AGamer: Dude, I'm doing the Coach in Connected Careers and can't change schemes or customize my playbook. What gives? EASports: Did you see the fictional Twitter feed! Skip Bayless in the house! AGamer: Yeah thats cool and all but we've been able to customize schemes and plays in Madden since the late 90s. WTH? EASports: Check out the physics on the Infinity Engine. Gang tackles like a boss! #ILoveMaddenMoreThanMyFamily AGamer: Infinity Engine? Is that why my players keep flying through the air like a grenade went off? AGamer: And staggering around like their drunk and tripping over people? AGamer: Dude, why does my running back keep running into the back of people and falling over? Did he just get off the Gravitron at a state fair? EASports: Physics! Like a boss! #IWillStabYouForACopyOfMadden AGamer: It isn't remotely realistic! People are tripping over each other after plays and flying all over the place like someone hit them with a car! EASports: Feel the realism! #WhoNeedsFriendsWhenYouHaveMadden AGamer: What is up with the announcing? Are they in the same game? I'm up 28 - 3 and every time I get a first down they say it is my first one of the game. EASports: Phil Sims in the house!Like a boss! AGamer: Why do you keep saying 'like a boss' #Toolbag EASports: Cause I'm sooooo excited about all the innovation in Madden!!! #WeDeserveANobelPrize AGamer: Excited about the innovation? You took away a lot of our control and customization in Franchise Mode and renamed it Connected Careers. AGamer: You gave us a physics engine that makes the players flop around like Muppet's inside of a dryer. AGamer: The announcing is no better than it was 8 years and a whole generation of systems ago. AGamer: Superstar mode has also been replaced by Connected Careers and while the gameplay is solid there is nothing personal to connect you with your player. AGamer: I want to see my player get interviewed and see him get accolades. I want to see him get endorsements. AGamer: I want to see celebrations at his accomplishments like what you saw in the NBA 2k series. AGamer: I get none of that in Madden 13. You have just given me a game with player lock and nothing else. EASports: Did you see the Twitter feed? #SkipBaylessOwnsTwitter AGamer: Yeah I saw the Twitter feed but nothing else. AGamer: This is what you call innovation? EASports: Like a boss!! AGamer: Whatever EA. Whatever. 2KSports: Ashamed there is no competition out there isn't it. NFL: @2KSports - Shhhhh. We're trying to count our money.