Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I am about 20 percent of the way through Full. I will try to finish it, but I'm not sure I am going to make it. To start with, I would say if you have an eating disorder, or have had an eating disorder in the past and don't feel like it is fully resolved, be careful about reading this novel. As a former anorexic, I found early parts of this novel triggered some of my anorexic thought processes. I know the author is trying to portray the struggles of ED and particularly bulimia in a realistic and sympathetic fashion, but the reaction to reading this material may be different for people who have a current ED or past ED and possibly dangerous to their health. I'm also not sure if this book is fatphobic yet. So far there is not a single fat character in this book, except that it is implied that the MC, Ava, was a little plump as a teen. If there are no fat characters portrayed in a positive fashion in this book, then it's fatphobic and that's a problem. I'm only twenty percent of the way in, so we will see what develops. I feel like there is food-shaming in the book. I get the sense that the book is shaming Ava for bringing "junk" food in to the wellness camp. Food shaming is bad. Other people's food choices are none of your business and shaming people for their food choices is a part of what leads to Ava's ED. I'm waiting to see how the author handles this. But Ava shaming herself made me feel like the author was shaming her too. It was very uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I have to start defending my food choices right here and now. Ava comes across as one-dimensional and self-absorbed. The only time in the first 20 percent of the book that I felt she cared about anyone but herself is when she says she started her Instagram as a place for people who used to have ED to share recovery. But it quickly morphed into something where she was lying to everyone. Maybe that's the point. Because of the Instagram Ava has no time for other interests. She uses to work at a video game company so I wonder if she likes video games. She goes on free vacations paid for by her sponsors. What does she like to do? Does she actually enjoy working out or does she have an exercise addiction? Does she like nature? Animals? Art? I don't know. She comes across as one-dimensional, self-absorbed, and boring. I feel sympathy for Ava, in that she is suffering terribly from the ED and that she lost her mother at a young age, but I don't like her much. And as readers we are stuck in her head with very little dialogue. Ava's head is not a fun place to be. She's not very kind and she mostly only thinks about herself, Instagram, food, and her issues around food. I'm hoping she develops into a more interesting person, but I needed something earlier in the book to make me feel like she was worth investing in. The other characters in the book have been flat and shallow so far. The people at the wellness retreat are cartoonish and weird. Their bizarre behavior makes the wellness retreat seem cultish. It also feels ableist. The rules are too strict and as a disabled person, this annoyed me. It felt like one of those places where disabled people would be turned away because accommodating us would be inconvenient or they wouldn't believe us when we told them exercise makes (or certain types of exercises, like yoga) actually make us worse. I hate when yoga is used as a cure-all. (Mild spoiler ahead) It's an annoying plot point that they won't give Ava a refund for her booking. I would rather Ava have shown some backbone as a chosen to keep the reservation herself, to realize that maybe she wants help, and to try to take the first step. Right now, I feel sorry for Ava, but I am sick of hearing her voice in my head. She's not especially intelligent or creative, so her observations about her environment aren't very interesting. The way she sizes people up is often very unkind. I'm a little curious to see where this book will go, but I may not finish it because there are better books out there that are more worth my time. Disappointing choice for this month's First Reads, at least so far.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Update: About 40% of the way through I have a little more to add. One of the strongest points of this book is the author's descriptions of Martha's Vineyard. You can tell this is actually a place she knows well. The descriptions feel authentic. I'm still pretty frustrated with Ava. She's become a bit less hostile toward her cabinmates but the book is almost halfway over. She's trying to face some of her issues with her mom and those memory sequences are well-written, with vivid details. Note to the author, artists are generally not covered in paint unless we are the type of artist who fling paint at the canvas. You will find most landscape artists get very little paint on their clothing. If you actually watch an artist painting landscapes (say, on Instagram) you will see that they don't make a mess. I found the depiction of the artist character pretty unrealistic. Many artists are also really good at using Instagram. I found it troubling that social media is mostly portrayed in a negative light throughout this book. Social media can be great. It depends on how you use it. You can follow museums, learn how to paint, see nature photographs from faraway places, find communities of people who share your interests... Disabled people in particular take issue with this negative portrayal of social media as it's one of the best ways for us to connect. Still no fat characters. I feel like this book is pushing healthy food as a way to get the body you want. I haven't read anything so far to dissuade me from that. Ava eats a lot of high-calorie food and purges. She doesn't like fruits and vegetables. The book seems to imply that if she ate healthy she wouldn't binge and purge and she wouldn't be fat. But guess what? You can eat healthy and still be fat. You can exercise and still be fat. You can do yoga and be good at it and still be fat. You can be beautiful and fat. You can be fat and find love. There are no fat-positive characters in this book so far. To me, it reads as fatphobic at this point. I am straight-size, so I would rather hear a take from someone who is plus size on this, but I think a lack of any positive portrayal of fat characters is problematic. Right now, the book kind of reminds me of a certain diet app, saying there are no bad foods but wait really there are. Ava has gotten maybe 2 percent more sympathetic. She's been slightly nicer to the people in her cabin and we feel more sorry for her as we read about her memories of her mom. But mostly, she's just not a very interesting or nice person. I wish she had some interests or cared about some things other than Instagram. All of the people I have known with ED have been well-rounded human beings. They often worked in fields where they focused on helping others. They were nice to other women. They struggled with food but they lived complex lives. They had hobbies. They cared about things that were going on in the world. Ava still feels very flat and selfish almost halfway through the book. It's just very hard to care about her. I don't know if real people who are Influencers are this selfish and shallow, but then, I've never met one.