Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

As you read this review, consider that these doorstops evoked a sufficient emotional response that I felt the need to sit down and express my thoughts to the world. Let that sink in a moment. Something about these irrelevant, disposable and fundamentally unimportant doorstops was so potent that I took time away from my wife and small children, set aside my demanding white collar job, and decided to write about doorstops. Have you ever considered something so on the face of it absurd? You have no reason to believe me, but I'm a fairly sane and easy going person not generally inclined to be morose about doorstops. These though - these doorstops require a world of banality and cruel stupidity to allow their existence. National Hardware presumably decided to sell doorstops, hired some other company to produce them, and then went to the bother of packaging them. Someone has a job where they are paid money to make decision about the color of doorstops. Another person must think about how to market them in an appealing way. Think about that. Massive ships and complex logistics systems were invoked to transport, around the entire planet, doorstops. As if that wasn't enough, Amazon then provided one of the most complex technology and warehousing systems on the planet to inventory, manage and sell these doorstops. Within 48 hours of me being irritated my office door wouldn't stay open, Amazon had deployed a courier service to bring them from who knows where to my home. These doorstops have touched literally hundreds of people, families, and careers and employed some of the most complicated marvels of our age. What drives me to write this review, is that for all that effort the stupid things don't work. Stopping a door is such a painfully simple exercise it is often done on accident. Things that have no business being used to stop doors are capable of the task. Look around you, doorstop shopper, and something within reach is capable of stopping a door. It is a trivial task. How then, is it possible for a device who's sole purpose is to stop doors to be fundamentally incapable of the task? It's this perverse joke - a tremendous, global effort contrived to deliver a product for a task so fundamentally trivial as to be solved by almost any object, yet somehow is still incapable of performing said task - that has led me to write so many words about doorstops. Crueler still, my effort and observation simply perpetuates the fundamental lunacy of the thing. Kafka wept. On to the review: They're cheaply made of flexible plastic and squish under the door instead of stopping it. You should buy different doorstops.