Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I'm not even sure where to begin on how bad this appliance is. At the most basic level, I just hope we're allowed to return this thing after having tried many times to use it. $350 was a lot of money to shell out, and all these amazing reviews made it sound like this thing was magical. Have any of you ever tried another blender? Is there something you enjoy about the blade spinning freely in its self-made air pocket within your unblended ingredients? What's with the plastic sword thing? Do you like manual effort in your blending projects? I'm baffled at what any upside to this thing is. My last blender was $40. I'd push a button and walk away and a minute or 2 later I'd come back to a container full of blendedness. I didn't have to sit and control the speed knob like I'm on a motorcycle in Boston rush hour traffic. I didn't have to jam a plastic sword thing in the top like I'm trying to wake up an uncooperative zoo animal. Anyway... This thing is awful. The entire blend process requires a ton of manual effort as mentioned above. You have to hold the thing or it will scoot itself all over the place. The on/off control is super touchy. Twice I had something on the counter bump into it and flip it on and whoosh ingredients everywhere. The speed control is horrible. 0-4, barely moves. One tiny fraction past 4, you've hit ludicrous speed. (I think 8 will take you to plaid but I never had the guts to try). It's basically $350 for an item you have to turn on and off repeatedly and shake all over the place and curse at. It's an expensive shake weight. Then there's the joy of cleaning it. Good luck. Wear a chain mail glove if you're going to reach in there. For $70 I picked up a competitor's model that has a tower of spinning death blades that allows me to hit a button, walk away, and return to a container full of blended love. It has little suction cups to the counter top so I don't even watch it. Well I did the first time just because it had been so long since I saw a blender actually work, I was mesmerized. I'm pretty sure I could liquify a pair of flip flops in this thing. All for $70. That's $280 cheaper than this thing. Push a button. Walk away. Oh and the death blade tower is removable, so pouring and cleaning is super easy. I suppose you could also use it to defend yourself against a kitchen invader in a pinch. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't buy this product. It's really really bad.