Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I'm a single-parent struggling to raise two violent children. My motto is, "Make war, not love." So as not to adversely influence my violence-prone children, I secretly keep my men under my mattress instead of on top of it. The other day, I decided I should be as organized as Mitt Romney. I pulled out my firemen calendars, my International Male catalogs, my pictures of men in jockey underwear and my Playgirl centerfolds. After stuffing them into these binders, I proceeded to put them back where they belong - under my mattress. The problem is that there's now a male bulge coming from underneath my mattress and my children are becoming confused.