Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I'm on my third XM Onyx. The first one died after 2 years, but had been a nice little radio till then. I purchased a replacement, but after 2 weeks the screen went blank. I called XM about it, and here's how my day went: When I called customer service, I gave them my account info and was put on hold. The Customer Service Rep answers, asks for account info, puts me on hold again. The hold music is scratchy keyboard, like a warped 78 record. When she comes back on line, she tells me I have to talk to "Advanced Service Rep," and--you guessed it---puts me on hold. I wished I had a copy of WAR AND PEACE because I had time to read it. The Advanced Service guy finally come on the line, asks for account info then says, "Please hold while I look up your account." His hold music is also scratchy keyboard but more grating. When he comes back, Advanced guy says I have to talk to someone in "E-commerce," because "They can get you a new radio." Okay, I'm getting closer, I think. The E-commerce agent asks for account info, puts me on hold, then comes back on and says, no, I wasn't supposed to call her. "Dial this number," she says. I dial it and I'm BACK to the Customer service voice loop. I could have read three chapters by now. This rep eventually sends me back to an "Advanced Service Rep" and I wonder if I'm an unwitting subject in some macabre experiment. This guy (after asking for my account information) says I must go back to E-commerce. "No!" I cry out desperately, "No, no--I've already been there, they say you have to help," and he says, "I don't know why they told you that, you need to talk with them, here's the number." I ask to talk with a supervisor. He says he is the supervisor, and to call the number he gave me. I decide that the next mystery novel I write will include a murder in a call center. This E-commerce person at least has better "hold" music. A jazzier tune, less staticky, with vocals: A woman singing "I want to move to Italy." I got hear the whole song. Twice. E-commerce eventually comes on the line and asks for--surprise, surprise-- my account info. Then I'm back on hold (no lyrics this time, but three unnerving electronic notes repeated over and over and over). I start plotting out the murder mystery in my head. The killer might even get off because it's clearly a justifiable homicide. "So you say your radio is broken," E-Commerce says, waking me from my slumber. "Would you like another one? Can I have you repeat your account information?" I realize then that it's the call center itself that is the antagonist in my novel-to-be. They're driving customers to the brink of madness. Perhaps they are Taliban operatives, and "customer service" is actually a terrorist plot. What messages have they imbedded in that infernal hold music? E-commerce finally promises a new radio. I'm not even sure I want it now. What subliminal messages might it relay when I'm listening to Dr. Billy or Ted Talks? And why do I have this sudden desire to move to Italy?