Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

If Tom Cruise’s Edge of Tomorrow decided to have a Cochella lazy time travel date with Keanu Reeves’s The Lake House you’d get this colossal train wreck of an idea. It’s like the actual writers left their open source material out on the coffee table and their 3 second attention span millenial kids decided to play “career ender” on mom and dad. The idiocy of Chris Pratt and his daughter’s future reunion is so bad and confused that for a minute you think “ oh snap! This movie has some crazy twists coming up!” But instead it’s really just a catastrophe of awfulness as if someone told you that your final meal on death row was gum and popcorn. I’d say the CGI of the Whitespikes was cool but compared to every other alien movie in the last decade they are … oh yes…. Almost identical in every way except the ability to throw spikes like that porcupine turd mutant from X Men 3: the near death of Xmen movies. This movie does have one redeeming feature though which is it’s soul sucking runtime of 2 hours and 18 minutes. Just long enough for you to acquire enough shame at revealing you felt trapped into finishing it to simply justify the time suck praying it had some cogent reveal. It doesn’t.