Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This novel is about an incredibly silly teenager suffering from a terrible bought of Stockholm Syndrome. When some sort of mob boss discovers that seventeen year old Lexi has a neato gift while he's shopping in Target, he decides to kidnap her by causing a car accident and having his goons abduct her. But wait, it only gets better from there! Lexi is understandably livid that she's been abducted, but she soon discovers that her kidnapper, Jude, is super hot and really rich. Even though he has threatened to kill her entire family if she tries to leave his property, Lexi is attracted to her kidnapper and grows insanely jealous when another woman shows him affection. Oh, he beat up his staff and orders people's deaths? Darn it anyhow, Lexi is nearly made to swoon by his stunning profile! And Lexi really loves telling her kidnapper how much she hates him, and then in the next breath think about just how cute he is! Also, Jude enjoys taking her out in public, but the entire police force is in his pocket, so no big deal! Lexi spends the vast majority of the book lamenting her terrible predicament, and also telling us how cute she thinks Jude is. She cries most of the time, makes lame comebacks, and generally does nothing of great importance or uses her brain for more than rudimentary bodily functions. Her FAQs include "Where are we going?", "What's happening?", "What are you doing?", and "Why are you so mean?" Seriously, absolutely nothing about this plot makes any sense. Lexi never does anything of value. Just screams and cries and does nothing to improve her situation. Despite the stagnant, abhorrent plot...there is no 'despite', sorry,' the writing itself isn't that great, either. It reeks of 'freshman creative writing class' and 'lets bash my readers over the head with things because stuff.' There is no climax, there is no conclusion, just a cliff-hanger that says in an incredibly unsubtle manner "BUY MY NEXT NOVEL." How about, no?