Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This book is: The Witcher meets Interview with the Vampire meets Game of Thrones meets the movie Underworld It’s also: •Violent •Bloody •Profane •And some would say (myself not being one of them) Sexy This is NOT: •A book for kids •A read to be taken lightly •The best vampire story I’ve ever seen… I’m not one to shy away from crass language—I, personally, can have an admittedly foul mouth—but here in Empire of the Vampire the vulgarity is severe overkill. I can understand the necessity for worldbuilding and characterization, but it’s SO frequent to the point of absurdity. It took me out of the story often. Every sentence or spoken dialogue had some form of four-letter words. The insults were always bullysome playground-styled nonsense. It was unfortunate that for a fantasy novel, the author chose to resort to high school-level profanity, which in turn made the adult content seem less intelligent, and more immature. Show me a character is hardened and butch some other way. Seriously. All the macho male posturing was ANNOYING! Kristoff promised us gay content, and while I won’t go into specifics, I'd say (personally) that he didn't deliver. When a *presumed* straight male author frequently writes queer women and queer f/f sex scenes (i.e. The Nevernight Chronicles), I find it disgustingly male gaze-y. I shouldn’t even say “women,” because every gay female he writes is a teenager!!!!!!!! What we have here in Empire of the Vampire is gratuitous hetero male fantasy posturing in the guise of fantasy literature. Nearly all of the male characters are so offensively… STRAIGHT! The effeminate vampire is painted in a borderline homophobic way, all the jokes in the book are straight boy macho jokes, and the author also makes it a point to mention in his world building how “sodomy is a sin.” There are slurs galore within this book, but Kristoff also uses a few gay jabs, as well. Rant aside, going back to the writing… I mean, when it’s good, it’s GOOD, but when it’s not, it’s cringe. “Ha Ha, you jerk! I slept with your mother, and your sister, and your grandma” or “That’s not what your wife said last night, you meanie.” It was those kinds of jokes and remarks—nearly every other page—and with much more colorful language. The kind teenagers find funny, or people with a low maturity level. I was fine with it the first few times, but it got old real fast the more it went on and on and on and on. It wasn’t clever or funny, it was childish and annoying. Within the span of a few pages, there were two “jokes” about menstruating women, which is just… it’s just tacky: “a she-devil on the rag” and “a dragon on her period.” Blah blah blah. Like, who finds that funny? (HAHA A PERIOD JOKE! GOOD ONE!) You can’t see it, but I’m rolling my eyes right now. Also, a quip about a bishop and an altar boy that I found in terribly bad taste. However, there were many passages that engaged me thoroughly. Jay Kristoff has a deft hand at worldbuilding that doesn’t feel tacked on or info-dumping. It’s masterfully layered; not all of it spoon/fed to us. The kind of worldbuilding you need to pay attention to. Many references are made to past events and characters that we know absolutely nothing about, but it’s never frustrating not knowing the context, because the accompanying dialogue is usual enough to convey meaning and emotion. There’s a quote that I had to jot down immediately after reading it, because it was so good: “…a ball of nerves and restless energy, a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” If that doesn’t perfectly capture my constant state of being, nothing else will. On the other hand: Sexualizing minors yet again in his books. It made me infinitely uncomfortable.