Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

*update* I am not sure how a review that 550+ people marked as helpful is now not even showing up on the 20th page of the top reviews for this product, but I hypothesize that it might be the result of my refusing to take down the review when offered a new bed (for the 3rd time). Just chew on that information when purchasing a product from this company and look upon positive reviews with a more skeptical eye. The following account is a true story. I have experienced this with the last two mattresses I've gotten from this brand. I do not put them through any intense use and follow all direction provided. Evolution of a night spent sleeping on an air mattress: Hour 0:00 - Inflation: a process who's acoustic qualities can only be likened to living inside a vacuum cleaner. 0:05 - Firm/Mattress like: Wow, what a nice bed you have. Put a sheet on it and you'd hardly know it was full of air. 1:00 - Imperceptible Deflation: Or maybe you've just gotten really comfy? 2:00 - Water Bed: Your sleep will begin to degrade just as subtlety as the air trickling from your bed. 3:00- Hammock: Structural integrity is now severely compromised. Groggy wakefulness usually follows as you blearily realize that you're spine is attempting to assume the shape of a banana. I hope you were sleeping on your back. 3:01 - Acceptance: Contemplation of the abysmal racket that would ensue if you were to attempt re-inflation is argument enough against any action. You are resigned to your fate. 4:00 - We Have Touch Down: In a landing that would be the envy of any space agency, your protracted descent had finally made landfall, though your feet and head are still elevated in a slightly comical crunch position. Your abs will look great tomorrow. 5:00 - Deflation Complete: It's been so long since you've watch the sun come up. Enjoy it as the loose skin of the par deflated elephant crinkles and ripples beneath you.