Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

What the CRAP is going on with modern day can openers. I can't even. I mean really CAN'T. EVEN. JANUARY 5TH, 1858 - was when the first can opener was invented. It is now JULY 26TH, 2019. Almost every single can opened designed by any company (Kitchenaid, Oxo, Chinese gray label boys....ANYBODY) is absolute JUNK. This one included: it does NOT latch on to the lip and lock like it should, it does NOT stay on the can as you wind, it twists itself off the can lid ALL THE TIME, and it doesn't give you a clean, continuous cut. This stuff is not new. This is OLD TECH. I am now going on to Reddit to learn from the preppers which can opener is 2019 is actually functional before I buy it. I have heard about the SWING-A-WAY ones. Might look at those. SIGH.