Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

My dearest Amazon, Have I not given you thousands of hours of my undivided attention as well as obscene amounts of my money? Why did you betray me like this!? I originally gave this suit five stars. It’s so pretty. So pretty, in fact, that I wore it to the crystal clear waters of La Isla Mujeres in Mexico. So, so pretty. And so, so see through. There are tiny children who will never be the same. Their life will forever be divided into the time before the American tourist went into the water and the time after. If you’ll notice, the bottom front panel is white. Perhaps it was the unfortunate set of circumstances, between the bright sun, au natural body confidence, and perfectly clear water, but I showed my giblets to strangers. I’m having a hard time imagining that others have not done the same. Maybe I got a defective suit?? For the love of God, think of the children! I am forever traumatized and am certain my face is on a poster somewhere on the island now. Good heavens.