Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

You truly get what you pay for. In an attempt to be more of an adult and spruce up my bear cave I decided to purchase this bed of rickety rusty nails. Firstly, delivery was a day late so after having had my old couch removed I was left to sit in an old chair, and forced to sadly reflect on my life choices. Not a good look on a well preserved bear turning forty. Secondly, when it arrived the box looked like it had been used to rake the forest floors of Finland. Thirdly, while trying to set it up I realized that not all of the pre-drilled holes for the legs aligned, and, subsequently, I would have to muster some masculinity to use power tools to remedy this situation. After butching out I was able to get it standing, and my mood improved. *Mood improvement actually due to the giant Manhattan I imbibed. Fourthly, the armrests are more of an intangible suggestion than actual support. Kind of like thoughts and prayers. Fifthly, three days of use and all I can think about is how many books or cinder blocks I’m going to need to keep it propped up. The legs are apparently set in some sort of cork and lead second lives as contortionists, as they have started to bend in directions that make as much sense as the floral foamesque cushions that adorn this dainty beast. I have that haunted house fear every time I actually do gingerly try to sit on it because I don’t know if it will be the end of my life or not. In conclusion, swipe left. Thank you, next.