Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

After reading rave reviews of this thing on Buzzfeed and other sites, I debated getting it no less than three times. And by debate, I mean spent over an hour each time reading reviews and looking at review pictures and holding my finger over the "add to cart" button. I'm sorry I did. First off, let me just say that my hair is a jerk. It's an extremely healthy jerk. It's very fine and pin-straight, thick and shiny. No product in this world or the next works on getting it to curl. I've tried every idea out there. I've had professionals try to make it curl. I've tried varying styling products in varying orders for varying amounts of time. Wet or dry. Overnight or high heat. Curled twisted kinked rolled wanded sprayed gelled moussed YOU NAME IT. My hair stays straight. So why did I order this? Well, after a multitude of reviews, I thought that perhaps if my hair dried with a slight curl to the ends, the combo of heat and drying would give it that blowout look that so many others are bragging about. That would be an improvement on the stick-straight look I rock day to day and I would finally have one small styling victory. I got this on a black friday sale, because adventure should not break the bank. I watched the youtube tutorials on using it. Many of them. I read the success reviews with the smiling pictures. I was prepared when the box finally arrived. But no, I wasn't prepared at all. This product was terrible for my hair. First of all, my hair did not gain any sort of volume on the ends at all. None. My hair flipped away from the roller and dried flat. I held it down into a nice curl shape. Steam wafted off the dryer. The hair still dried flat. Volume on the crown, perhaps? No, blow drying my hair upside down works better than this, my hair has almost zero volume on top when I use this. All my fine baby-hairs get blasted every which way, resulting in that fluffy chicken look. Is there a redeeming quality? Believe me, no one wants to think that they let money fly out the window, I wanted desperately to use this for *something*. Even as a normal blow dryer. But no sir, that won't even work, because this product does something to my hair that makes it dry and tangled at the ends. I don't know what, it's like the boar bristles suck the moisture out of my hair and suddenly my hair that I have never even needed to brush before is a sticky tangled mess on the bottom. Pretty bummed. I had high hopes. I've tried again and again, thinking that perhaps I just needed practice. No, I don't need practice, I need a miracle. For the time being, my hair will remain straighter than ever. For those of you who are foolish enough to wonder how to get your hair this healthy, let me bestow my curse upon you: I only wash it once every two days and make sure to condition the roots and ends liberally with "strengthening" conditioner. And now there is no hope. For all others who call this product a miracle: I am truly glad for you. May your hairdays always be great.