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ranked #212,097 most helpful
out of 571,544,897 reviews
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PhD in FemBot Studies
Ladies, If you are smart, you will know that you need all the help you can get when it comes to sex appeal. Disfigured by an advanced degree? This darling sexy PhD outfit will hide your brains while baring your bod. (Note: mortarboard available in anencephalic sizes only.) Just be sure not to speak lest you divulge your expertise in astrophysics, archaeology, or engineering, thereby compromising your femininity. Teeny-tiny diploma is non-threatening as it can't possibly account for the advanced math, three languages, or history of art that you frittered way precious child-bearing years mastering. Worry not, it's sure to be smaller than your man's equipment! Pair our cute little graduation gown with a super push-up bra to provide further reassurance that your real purpose is to suckle all who approach (cow-pattern honor sash sold separately) and that years of sacrifice and achievement mean nothing to you, or anybody else, for that matter. Ankle-breaking high heels will be sure to impress your students, the chair of your department, and your Dean, because what good is having three degrees if you don't have that wiggle in your walk?
