Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I just finished this book yesterday, and I put some thought into this review before going ahead with it. Straight off, I want to say that it is obvious Wells is excited about his book and that he wanted to succeed. It is also obvious that a lot of effort was put into editing out spelling and grammar errors--and I say that last bit in comparrison to other self-published authors. There are a lot of horribly edited books out there but this isn't one of those. However, what it achieves in editing, it squanders in style. This book is a classic example on a large scale of what it means to "tell" rather than "show" a story. There is so much narrative summary in this book that, had it been turned to action and dialogue, the characters would have come to life far more than the shadows they became over the course of these pages. Just this change alone would have made me add another two stars to this review. Wells also has a tendency to use some words (ie: "little") far too frequently, as well as certain phrases and even entire sentences ("Right now he had a blade in his hand and he was in a fight"). Some things I understand are meant to pull a reader into a specific mindframe, but too much repetition still kills the feel for me. Also, the writer has a love for simply stating the same thing in a few different ways, often in the same paragraph. Back to word choice again: There's a lot of grit in this book. Lots of killing, blood and death. These make for a certain feel, but once you start using words like "puffball" and "fluffy" and yes, "little", you ruin what you build--at least in my opinion. Also along the lines of word choice and style: Wells repeatedly strings long lists of nouns together in an effort to impart a grand and detailed vision, but he takes astronomically too far several times. The following is an example: "...all manner of trays, platters, boards, dishes, pots, pitchers, and bowls" and shortly thereafter he goes on to use "...butter, sauces, dips, mustards, jams, jellies, salsas, relishes, and dressings." Now it also bears mentioning that the character who's point of view the story is told from could not possibly have known what was in the containers to begin with, so therein lay another stylistic complaint I have with the work. This would of course be fine if the entire book was written in an omniscient perspective, but that is not the case. The last thing I'd like to mention is the cover art: I'm guessing that the castle shown is intended to represent Blackstone Keep, but it obviously lacks the magnificent onyx black construction. Perhaps it was instead intended to be Glen Morillian? Either way, I think the cover should have been more iconic to the content to the book itself. Let me conclude by saying that the story screams to be turned into a high adventure, and it has strong potential for it. I just wish Wells had not pushed this to publication before it was polished to a shine. There is not a writer in this world who is perfect, but this author could be great if it were not for those things mentioned here.