Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Diablo 3 entreats us to try our luck and seek out ultimate treasures and magical shiny things to defeat diablo. I ventured forth into Diablo land full of hope with treasure hunting stars in my eyes and and found pile upon pile of useless junk. About 50 hours later at the end of a long dark lonely repetitive questing journey, exhausted and disheartened I found the magical Diablo auction house. The friendly auction house personal entreated me to return to the magical Diablo lands and collect junk for many additional hours to sell it to venders and use that money to buy the treasures that exploiters, cheaters, and paid-to-play people found in their oh so magically lucky adventuring lives and then posted for sale on auction house. Leaving the auction house I returned to Diablo Land and proceeded to spend many more hours repeatedly killing the same monsters again and again, collecting piles of magical trash again and again. I returned to the auction house to buy my "end game" gear and finally progress my adventure. A smile on my face I ventured into act 2 Inferno. Stepped off of the portal and into ... everything went black and there was sand in my mouth. Restart.... again sand....restart...again face full of sand. I think i remember hearing some kind of humming or buzzing noise but I can't be sure. I returned to the magical Diablo land to collect magical Diablo land trash, sell trash to vendor, take gold from trash sale to auction house. Give gold to game exploiters and professional players or maybe even just plain lucky people. Have MUCH better level 60 gear and charts and diagrams on how to play and which skill to use. I am ready to tackle whatever it is that is causing me to faceplant. I haven't really seen it yet but now I know I'm ready for it. This time its going to be VERY different. Very VERY different! I step off the portal and yes indeed it is very different. I see a flash of blue, and then the sand, and then the blackness....I totally never saw the flash of blue before. I'm pretty sure I heard that buzzing noise again though. I am older and wiser now, I exited Diablo land, the auction house people brushed the sand off of me and gave me some water to get the grittiness out of my mouth. They told me of shiny swords, sparkly rings of life on hit, and gloves with additional attack speed. Do I really NEED to see diablo die a fourth time? Not this bad.