Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I should have known when I was in the store that buying this was a bad idea. I kept hearing the muffled cries and the sounds of high heels clacking, but no... I went ahead and bought it anyhow. Well, when I got home and opened it up, all of a sudden my living room was filled with hundreds of women, holding pies, wearing pearl earrings, and crying out for their oven mitts. I think. Anyhow, they descended on me and begged me to tell them where their oven mitts were. I think. I told them that I didn't know and that I'd appreciate it if they'd leave, but no... they had to stay in the binder. I'm GAY, people. What am I going to do with a binder full of women? At least 47% of them are going to want to be my best friend, and I don't have time for that right now. However, if I'm honest, I must say my home is cleaner than ever, and the apple pies left behind are deelish.