Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Do you want to know why other double-wide toasters cost $100? Wonder no more! This is the toaster to buy if not only do you NOT want to know when your items will be toasted but IF they'll even be toasted at all. Tired of having to pick your "toast" up out of the toaster? Well, the good news is that this appliance will shoot your items out of itself with such a speed they may end up on the counter, or even the floor! Do you ever find yourself wishing your bagel was both burnt AND frozen? Wish no more! You can live the dream with this toaster! Your "toast" will be so striped with burned and completely uncooked sections it'll be the envy of even the most starkly contrasted giraffes. If you cover the oddly and very inconsistently heated bread with so much butter, peanut butter, or cream cheese, you may not notice what an utterly awful job this toaster did warming it up! Get one!