Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I read this book after my sister recommended it, saying it was "the best book she ever read". I went in without any preconceptions, but was pretty horrified early on. The story is supposed to be a modern take on the story of Hosea and Gomer in the Bible, but the way it is told prevents the message of the original story from shining through. Basically, I found the whole book to be filled with gross examples of sexual assault, abusive relationships, toxic masculinity, and victim blaming. I am by no means a progressive, as a very orthodox Catholic myself, but this book truly disgusted me by the way it exalted Michael's utterly abusive behavior at times. 1. He marries Angel while she's delirious, then uses this invalid marriage as the reason she can't leave his farm and must do chores. 2. When Angel desires to leave (because she's literally been kidnapped) Michael refuses to escort her back to town. (where she wants to return so she can collect her savings and leave for California, where she hopes to open her own shop). Because he refuses, Angel resorts to catching a ride from Michael's brother, Paul, who tells her mid ride she must provide payment to him in the form of sex, or he'll leave her out in the middle of nowhere. After this rape, the whole incident is portrayed as Angel's fault; the book depicts the event like Angel deeply betrayed Michael by desiring her own independence from him and then choosing (!!) to get herself raped. No. The book has little to no discussion about the wrongness of Paul's actions, but spends a great deal of time with Angel regretting her 'sin' of trying to leave. 2. After furiously going to town to fetch Angel back after she returned to town, Michael beats up the person she's with and describes his love in a chilling way. "He almost hit her back, but he knew if he hit her once, he wouldn't stop... If he had hit her back once, he would have killed her. [On recalling finding her] If he hadn't seen her eyes or heard the way she said his name, he would have killed them both..." and then later: "'Because I love you' he said thickly. He swung her around in front of him, his eyes tormented. 'That simple, Amanda. I love you. When are you going to understand what that means?' Her throat tightened, and she hung her head... She looked at him bleakly. 'Your kind of love can't feel good.' 'Does your kind feel any better?... I felt like killing you when I walked in that room, but I didn't. I feel like beating sense into you right now, but I won't'..." (pg. 196-197). Woah woah woah. Is she supposed to feel grateful to him that he didn't kill her? Is she now in a debt of gratitude to him because he is refraining from beating her senseless? This is not something to brag about! You don't win points for deciding not to kill someone. That is NOT love. 4. In many, many depictions of physical intimacy between Michael and Angel, toxic masculinity is rampant. For example: "Michael caught hold of her and swung her around. "Oh, yes I do [know why you left]!' He covered her mouth with his. When she tried to push free, he cupped the back of her head. She struggled harder as the betraying warmth stole over her." (305-306). I'm so tired of this idea being perpetuated that women don't know what they want, that if you just force yourself on them long enough, they'll stop resisting and actually love what's happening. It's in so much of the media, movies, tv: the guy forcefully grabs the protesting girl, she tries to push him away, he pulls her closer, and then her arms wrap around his neck. No. Women know exactly what we want, and if we push you away or say no, this is not a sign that men we don't know need to go after us all the more. Respect the no. (Something Michael continually fails to do literally the entire book). Those are just a few of the many disturbing sentences I encountered in this book. Honestly I could do a chapter by chapter rant. I love the idea of writing about God's unconditional love for His people, but the way Rivers goes about setting up a metaphor is toxic. God created out of love every human being to be His, and thus we all are created for God's heart; His continual pursuit of us makes sense and is okay because HE IS GOD. This metaphor Rivers creates sends the message that ideal holy men can continually pursue women regardless of the women's desires, that they can ignore the autonomy of women as long as it's "God's will", that they know better than the woman what's best for her and thus can force that on her, is very wrong. It greatly saddens me that so many Christian women read this and think it's such a beautiful love story.