Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

When I started reading The Twelve Stones, I was initially hooked and settled down for what I expected to be an enjoyable read. Unfortunately, the more I read, the less I enjoyed it. The story follows Alex, a man with a past, as he battles an evil billionaire who is intent on taking over the world. The author has a vivid imagination, and his ability to paint a picture with words is good. Formatting and the copy-editing were adequate. (I must admit that the author's comments in the book description on the re-edited version were pretty funny and were ultimately what made my decision to buy the book.) I have several problems with the book, though. The first one is the author's lack of adherence to reality. I am not writing here about the stones, but the disregard for physics, martial arts, law enforcement, the military, anatomy, history, timing--the list goes on. Science fiction or not, you can't pinch "soft tissue" and hit a disabling nerve, kung fu does not have "sensei," (nor is the art anything like what was described, for that matter), blowing a gas pocket would not cause the "biggest natural disaster in history," Camp Pendleton is not an Army base, colonels do not go to basic training together then serve together in combat with their "buddies," cars would not be able to travel for six hours on California highways at 126 MPH and not get stopped by the highway patrol--and on and on in this vein. The book is quite frankly rife with these mistakes, most of which could be alleviated with a simple Google search. To me, as a reader, it seemed like the author was so caught up with his storyline that he had too many throw-away aspects that he just invented their reality as an easy way out. Coincidences were too pat for me, too deus ex machina. The biggest one is that with four known stones, two people with stones just happen to meet in the middle of Joshua Tree National Forest? Added on to that are Alex's friends, one who just happens to invent magic weapons and super cars, among other NASA-type things, that are needed to defeat Rupert and and ex-girlfriend who just happens to be an expert in extra-terrestrial life. The meeting at Joshua Tree could have been explained along the lines of the fourth stone "calling" or "pulling" in the others, but no, in the story as written, it is just a coincidence. My biggest issue, however, is characterization. The evil billionaire, although we are told is a madman, is simply too evil, too violent. Madmen are one thing, but even billionaire madmen cannot get away with what he does and his complete disregard for the law. He is a cartoon character, and as such, is flat and uninteresting. The protagonists are extremely annoying. Even in the most dire situations, their sole purpose in life seems to be to make flippant jokes and references to movie lines. When bullets are flying, there can be a sense of gallows humor, but I have never seen it approach anything like what is described in the book. People just don't act that way. Not only is Alex like this, but his best friend, ex-girlfriend, and even her friend seem to be trying to upstage Arnold Schwarzenegger with memorable catch-phrases, even at the most unlikely times. A bit of repartee can breath life into a book, but when it is every other paragraph and completely unbelievable, it becomes a huge obstacle rather than a strength. I really wanted to like this book. Many of my issues can be fixed with a re-write, but I think the author's voice revolves around that flippant, irreverent tone and an attempt at humor. With that in place, I'm not sure I could really ever enjoy this book or a sequel.