Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This review will take the form of prose, in the style of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but with examples taken from the story itself. How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways. I hate thee for thine bizarro, unpunctuated, over-the-top prose that peppers this story from page one on. 'I hate the lackadaisical ennui of a sun too preoccupied with itself to notice the infinite hours we spend in its presence.' P. 26 I hate thee for talking about a bird, every couple of pages, thereby adding a mysterious, crazy-girl ambiance when the reader already knows Juliette is a tinfoil hat away from crazytown. 'There will be a bird today.' P. 9 'There will be a bird.' P. 11 'Maybe a bird will fly today.' P. 28 'Birds used to fly.' P. 36 I've dreamt about the same bird flying through the same sky for exactly 10 years.' P. 36 'I don't know how to find the white bird.' P. 113 'I glance at the window and wonder if I'll ever see a bird fly by.' P. 115 'A white bird with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head. It's flying.' P. 120 'I'm the bird and I'm flying away.' P. 121 'I need to see the bird.' P. 176 I hate thee to the level of shoving this book into a composter, after finishing a particularly silly part about Adam's manly chest and Juliette's need to snuggle. 'My face is pressed against his chest and the world is suddenly bigger, beautiful - -the entire universe stops in place and spins the other direction and I'm the bird.' (Gah, that darned bird again!). I hate thee with a passion put to use with my trusty highligher pen as the story veered from events and people into waiting and Juliette's 'pulse pounding romance' (back cover of the book) which wasn't very romantic or pulse pounding. 'the sun and the moon have merged and the earth is upside down. I feel like I can be exactly who I want to be in his arms. ' I hate thee with a bitterness that seemed to grow as I had to read almost 51 pages of purple prose before something really happens. 'Warner Stops walking. "I want you on my team." 'We're in the middle of a war,' he says a little impatiently.' With my lost time, the hours I spent on this book can never be regained, and so, I think, even unto death, I shall hate thee more.