Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I meticulously prepared and partook of the breast milk and semen elixir, and immediately, there appeared before a she-demon of the most hideous form. She lurched forth without any hesitation, outstretched her bony-fingered hand covered in leathery warted skin, and demanded that I give her millions of dollars to appease her wrath that would be visited upon me if I failed to comply with her corrupt and arbitrary demand. "It's for a good cause," she assured me. "It's for the children on the island," she explained before releasing a ghastly howl of perverse laughter. I pulled back and covered my eyes, trying not to look, and I could hear CNN in the background assuring me that what I was witnessing before my very eyes was all just a figment of my imagination. "I'm giving my money to Trump," I announced whereupon I immediately noticed the she-demon slightly writhe in pain at the mere mention of the word "Trump." Incredulously, I tried again. "Trump," I proclaimed, causing the she-demon to growl deeply, raise her prognathous jaw, stomp her ungulate foot, and howl at the bright full moon that lit up the cold foggy evening. "Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump," I continued, and with each word the horrific she-beast retreated in pain as the mere word singed her green, withered skin. "Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump,Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump." My words rang out in the still of cool evening as the she-demon screeched off into the night and retreated to a nearby federal prison where she and her other demon friends had retreated for many years, nay, until their very demise.