Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

So infuriating! With the right decisions, this could have been the perfect sci-fi movie--truly a classic. Pluses and negatives: First, on the PLUS side: 1) First, props to Luc Besson, the director, for creating a truly unique vision. The movie does create landscapes, cultures, and visual imagery that are beyond anything I have seen in film. I recommend the movie be viewed, on this basis: see it as a fun, two-hours of entertainment, and nothing more. I understand that this was a 'passion project' for Mr. Besson, in that he partially raised the money for the movie by crowd-funding. He deserves credit for putting something truly unique on the screen. The 'alpha' world, the aliens themselves, were imaginative, and everything--from slimy tentacles to big-eyed bugs--were something that you have not seen before. 2) Second, following on, I have to commend the CGI in the movie. It is almost flawless. There is a 'fantastical' vibe to the movie--not grounded in anything we see around us in reality--and the action is pretty fast paced. However, at each step in the process we can see how each city works, and how each alien feels, by virtue of their facial expressions and bodily movements. Rhianna's shape-shifting stripper is the best example. :-) Now, the negatives. I'm so mad, because it could have been a successful, sci-fi classic! 1) The CASTING! Dane Dehaan! Oh my G. The gentleman looks as though he is 19 years old. Physically, he's built like a teenager, and his delivery mirrors this. This matters because the character he is portraying is supposed to be in his--maybe--30's or even 40's. The character he is portraying is supposed to be one of the best soldiers in the world, with years and years of combat/warfare training. Since Mr. DeHaan is so young, (I'm shocked to read he's actually 31) he just hasn't had the life experiences to portray a grizzled veteran. Similarly, he's supposed to be a roguish love interest for Laureline. That's just silly, because, again, he just doesn't look like he's had enough life experiences to be a successful 'lady's man,' and understand the deep emotional complexities of love. And, probably, because of his lack of life experiences, that's why his delivery is one of Mr. DeHaan imitating what he thinks a tough-guy should sound like. Where's Han Solo when you need him??? 2) The CASTING! Cara Delvigne. Sorry, but much the same problem as with Mr. DeHaan. Laureline is supposed to be a tough, experienced, even jaded, Sergeant, fighting for the government. But she looks like she's 17!!! To be a grizzled, jaded, accomplished veteran, the character needs to look like she's had experience in life. Also, she's supposed to be a complex, deep thinker; drawing on her many experiences in life to have a rich emotional interaction with Valerian. But again, she looks like she should still be in high school, so the concept of her having deep emotional understanding, just doesn't fly. The other problem is that Ms. Delvigne is just a bad actress. I think she only had two expressions in the entire movie: (a) fashion-runway pouting, and (b) a smile that cracks for a nano-second. This is not a function of age: there are plenty of fantastic young actresses. The problem is that normally young actresses are cast correctly--as younger people. They are not cast--as here--as grizzled, world-weary adults. Where's Princess Leia when you need her??? 3) The TONE. It is so uneven! I have been a fan of Luc Besson, and to this day, 'The 5th Element' is one of my favorite movies. In the 5th Element, Besson managed to hold a consistent tone of comedy, touched (by Mila Jovovich and Bruce Willis) with fun action and romance. Here, it seems as though the script writers were just...incompetent. (Sorry!). For example, we are supposed to develop affection for Laureline's character. Affection or empathy with a character is fundamental--if we don't like them, we don't care about them. Laureline however, is pretty unlikeable: she spends a good portion of the movie kicking small animals, and insulting people. Similarly, with Valerian, it's hard to like him as a character. The movie spends a great deal of time building up a certain race of aliens. The aliens are pretty charming--even funny. They are a over-weight and clumsy, but have a big interest in fashion(!). The problem is that Valerian shows up and first shoots one in the head, and then, in an extended sequence proceeds to stab a whole roomful of them to death. Is this a lighthearted comedy, or a rated-R action movie? Sometimes I couldnt' tell. 4) The PLOT. If I tried to convey the plot to you, it would take too much concentration and time, because it was so convoluted. That's issue number one with the plot. The second issue is that although there is an over-arching storyline, the movie just seems like a whole bunch of scenes cobbled together because they look cool with the CGI. Literally, Valerian and Laureline will go to a place and do something--like go grab a jellyfish from the back of a whale, or be rescued from an aliens' dinner banquet--for no reason whatsoever, connected with the main storyline. In the end, again, it makes for a fun two-hours, because you've seen a lot of cool stuff, but for a thoroughly unsatisfying STORY. So that's it. See it once for fun, but hope that Luc Besson will learn, and do better next time. :-)