Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Okay, listen… I understand that this is not snack food, this is SURVIVAL FOOD. But Seriously folks, you can live on eating a field of dandelions, boiling tree bark, and eating worms. Survival food doesn’t have to taste like filet mignon, but it should at least keep you going… and not dreading the next time you have to stop for food…. My main complaint is the taste… oh God!! The taste... oh god the taste!!! Review of the flavors below. Listen, we all know you buy this food, because it is pre-made, nutritionally fulfilling its role as sustenance, and is supposed to be edible... it IS edible, true, but in no way would I actually choke down one of the horrid tasting sugar bricks if literally ANYTHING else was available. And while the taste deserves -100 stars... i have given it 2 stars because it is survival food, but there re so many better options out there. Thant being said, let’s get to texture & taste. Texture: Imagine if you took a cup of sugar, a cup of sand and mixed it with flour & oil, and mashed it into a mealy sand colored rectangle... and that is the most appealing description I could possibly give these thing... the texture was universal. The reviews on taste are from my first bite to my last... Raspberry: It tasted like the raspberry flavoring shipment didn't show up that day and so they took the air freshener out of the truck stop men's restroom and poured it into the mixing bowl. I felt like I was eating a urinal cake from an Army Porta-potty. Awful doesn't describe it... it's a third trimester abortion. I already feel like i have made a mistake. Cherry: First blush... i thought, "Ok, maybe not inedible." but as I chewed, it got worse, the OVERWHELMING artificial Cherry flavor tasted like Cherry Twizzlers and dry sugar cookie dough had a baby, and that baby was put up for adoption, grew up in a Detroit inner city orphanage, and then was adopted at 13 by a Latvian Drug Lord and was forced to carry backpacks full of cherry NyQuil flavored crystal meth across the Siberian tundra. I swallowed though. Lemon: Ok, I'm hating this so far, but it's lemon right... who could screw that up? Yeah... I was soon back in hell. It was like eating powdered kitty litter sprayed with lemon pledge. Oily, horrid, LOOOOONG lasting after taste... Whoever signed off on this is QA should be ashamed of themselves. I spit it out as best I could. Drank16 ounces of water... then cried a little thinking about having to continue… but… ONWARD! Blueberry: I didn't want to put anymore of these things in my mouth, but I did. The Blueberry wasn't actually bad. It was like eating a blueberry poptart, if you dropped it in the sand, but were still hungry so you picked it up and ate it. This... was the best of the bunch. Apricot: After the blueberry I had hopes... but they were dashed. Apricot was almost tasteless at first, but then the flavor came around and it was like those sugar covered apricot rings. Artificial does not even begin to describe it.. Bishop from the movie Aliens was more natural than this flavor. I spit it out. Orange: Not a good as blueberry which wasn't good at all. it was very disappointing... all of it was disappointing. Final Thoughts: You might be able to maintain your nutritional needs.... but by the third bar, you are gonna want to kill yourself before putting another one of these things in your mouth. What good is survival food that makes you want to kill yourself. HARD, HARD PASS.