Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Look, I know "300" isn't supposed to be historically accurate. But here's the thing: When someone decides to "alter" history for the sake of fiction, that fantasy had better be superior to the actual reality in either its colorfulness, scope, grandeur, or emotion. As such, Frank Miller's "300" fails on all counts. The true story of Thermopylae (so far as we can surmise) is far more interesting and evocative than this cursory overview of events. And yes, while the artwork is striking and the imagery is brutal, it's not good enough to warrant such blatant disregard for history. Frank Miller disregarded so many interesting and amazing facts that his version comes off as inferior AND inaccurate! It sucks. Here's why: Frank Miller supposedly went to Hellas to research the subject matter. I don't know what he did while he was there, but very little of this "research" made it into the final product. Historical inaccuracies abound. The Spartans (referring to themselves as "Lakedaemonians") wore cloth, leather, and bronze panoplies at the time. They were hoplites, "heavy infantry". They WERE NOT NUDE. If Miller sought to emulate hyperbolic vase paintings and sculptures of the time then he should have at least given the Spartans some nasty scars about their torsos and thighs (where wounds were typically received in phalanx warfare). Under the Laws of Lykurgus, Spartans were not allowed to have mustaches. This is memorable to anyone who has researched ancient Sparta because it is jarringly unusual. Miller shows many (if not all) Spartans with mustaches. King Leonidas was around 60 years old at the time of Thermopylae. Miller has him looking like a forty-something George Clooney. The pass at the Hot Gates was chosen because of its extremely narrow width, barely enough for a horse cart to trespass. Leonidas decided to hold the Medians at this bottleneck in order to nullify their immense cavalry advantage (knowing that Persian infantry were mostly levied, ergo paled in comparison to Hellenic hoplites). A cursory research glance into Thermopylae will reveal this, yet Miller depicts the "300" as fending off elephants. Ridiculous, as this goes counter to the VERY REASON WHY THERMOPYLAE WAS CHOSEN. There were roughly 5,000 other hoplites from neighboring polies at the battle (estimates differ according to historians), including some 500 Thespians who held with Leonidas's Peers during the doomd last stand. But Miller's account portrays barely any Hellenes aside from the Spartans. Xerxes watched the battle from a hillock removed from the fighting. Miller has him close enough to be wounded by a spear thrown from a perishing Leonidas. Striking in its symbolism, but grossly inaccurate. The Persian Immortals did not look like kabuki-masked ninjas. They were household guards elected for their noble blood. They're making a movie of this, so if you're still hell-bent on delving into Frank Miller's preposterous fantasy of Thermopylae then just plunk down the price of a matinee ticket and see the movie. Don't waste money on this drivel. Go read "Gates of Fire" by Steven Pressfield, an incredible narrative that is riveting AND historically accurate. Something of which Frank Miller is utterly incapable.