Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

123 magic is, straight up, a book that relies on threats of punishments and desire for praise to keep kids in line, and neither of those things are necessary when you have a connected relationship and effective positive discipline tools. If you use threats and rewards, by the time your kids are teens, they are going to do what they can get away with (get around punishment--teens are smart) AND do only what gets them something (rewards) rather than work hard because of intrinsic value. I'm not saying every teen respond this way, but many do. (I know I did!). If you're looking for a book that is not reward and punishment based yet is extremely effective, give Dr. Laura Markham's book a try. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting has everything that 123 Magic doesn't, and it is in an easy to read format. She also is very empathetic towards the struggles of parents--she is on your side 100%. The audio version is particularly worth getting. Listening a little every day improved my parenting and relationship with my kids so much, and felt effortless since I just did 15 minutes here and there in the car each day. I started out in some ways parenting as I was parented, but I want better for my kids, with better outcomes. I want them to be emotionally smart, not blind rule followers and/or rebellious. I don't at all believe kids need to go through a rebellious phase--when I used to teach high school in my 20's, I saw kids who didn't go through any negative phases, happy, centered kids, and the best of those kids had parents were amazing, kind and connected. They laughed with their kids, they clearly loved them. Heck, parent teacher conferences with "those types of parents" made ME feel loved! I knew when I grew up, that was what I wanted--but at the time, I didn't know how. I want my kids to know I love them because we are connected, not because I praise them when they are "good." My love has nothing to do with good or bad, or the choices they make. It is unconditional. As parents, we all know our love is unconditional, but how do we get this across to our kids? (Not with 123 magic! ;) Anyway, I found the answer in Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids. It has been almost a year now since I read that book and I keep going back to it--it's how I live my life, and how I will keep living it. There is no magic to true connectedness and respect of myself and my kids, but I had a ton to learn. I am still learning, growing, and becoming a better person and parent. Don't get sucked in to this oversimplified system of praise and rewards. There are much better ways to get children to think about their behavior and to do better next time, to teach them, than by using this system and setting yourself up in opposition to them. I've also read Raising our Children, Raising Ourselves, which I see mentioned in these comments a few times, and it is great, but not as easy to implement as Markham's work. Aldort has some nice videos on her parenting site as well, and Markham has a site called aha parenting--subscribe to her newsletter if you're not ready to buy her book (and even if you are--I love getting those bursts of inspiration in my inbox). Good luck on your parenting journey no matter what you decide, whether it be 123 Magic or something else entirely--I wish you the utmost success and happiness.