Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

(This was written by my husband, Ian, who was sent over the edge by this product .. ;) ) I have been a loyal Cisco customer for years. Like over 20. That is the only brand of networking equipment I ever bought. My IT Bros would be like, "Check out Netgear, Homeboy!" And I was like, "Nah, Man. I ain't mad at Cisco." And then it happened. All of the consumer products became Linksys and then our relationship began to sour. I bought a cute little E2500. She was a decent router. Small. Petite, strong, but not strong enough to support my love of all things Internet. But she was loyal. Then, then things changed. She constantly needed assurance that she was my girl. Yeah, I rebooted her once in awhile. Hell, I even updated her firmware when she would let me. I guess she just got tired of our relationship. Maybe my wife and my son took me away from her. No more X Box, Netflix, Hulu. I'm sure you all know the story. Maybe it was me. But I knew she wasn't enough for me anymore. Late one night, after the fourth reset to get my Internet back I said to myself, "Mayhaps it's time to move on?" A quick search of my beloved Internet and I saw her.....The EA7300 V2. Oh, man, was she beautiful. Everything a guy could want in a router. Not one, not two, but THREE antennae. I'm telling you guys, it was love at first sight. She said she had blazing speed and could send WiFi to not only my house, but my neighbor's and the other guy that lives in the trailer down the road that steals my cable and looks at my wife kinda funny. Also she was V2! Not some tired old V1 that you find sitting at the bar alone after last call and say to yourself, 'What the Hell? V1 routers need loving, too." So I spent my $70 (Notice it's $129 now.) and hoped for the best. I waited and waited, all the while still rebooting my old but semi reliable E2500. (I remember you! Heart emoji.). Then one day, my dog went crazy barking, and I heard my trusty USPS carrier come up the driveway. Could it be? Is it here? I slowly rose from the couch in my mustard-stained tank top and the boxers I had been wearing for a week. Yes!! Yes, it was finally here. I carefully sanitized the Amazon Prime box and ever-so-slowly opened the lid, My heart be still. There she was. Man, she was big. But I knew I could handle her. After 20 plus years in IT, I know I could. So I set her up. You know, plugged her into the computer, opened my browser and entered the magical numbers. You know, <whispers 192.168.1.1> Wow!! Sweet interface. Like a two-dollar hooker before she does her first trick. I hooked up my TV, my phones, a printer and my kid's tablet. I even had two devices hooked up via wired Ethernet. My wife's computer and a SWEET Samsung Blu-Ray player. Anyway, I digress. Oh, did I mention how sexy it looked with it's three antennae? I think I did. So there we were. The wife and kid were in bed. It was just us. I tuned my Netflix to Better Call Saul. The picture was perfect. There was no buffering. Man, it was beautiful. As I cracked open another beer while Jimmy and Kim did the same, all of a sudden, no Netflix ... Huh? Surely this can't be my new router making my night worse than my week stuck at home with my barky-ass dog, sassy-mouthed kid and my beautiful wife who worships the ground on which I walk? So I checked my Aris Surfboard totally bad ass Cable modem that is 11 years old. All of her lights winked at me like a drunken teenager wanting me to buy her a six pack of Zima. I said, "Okay. It can't be you. It's never you." So I looked at my sultry new EA7300 V2. The Linksys logo was winking at me like crack head on meth. I thought to myself, "This doesn't look right at all." So I powered her off with a quick jab to the power button. She went down like a sack of potatoes, but I lifted her back up. At first she blinked slowly, like coming out of a domestic assault in the local trailer park. Then faster and faster until she looked me right in the eye. Better Call Saul "I'm BACK BABY!!!" 10 minutes later Jimmy and Kim's nightly tomfoolery was gone. You know what? Old EA7300 V2 passed out again. It's like every time I turned my back she was chugging the bottle of Smirnoff Vodka. This went on for days. Every night between 9:30 and 10pm I had to wake her back up. I updated her firmware, I turned off auto updates and yet she still passed out every night. Finally after days and days, much to my chagrin (Did I mention I have been in IT for 20 plus years?) I bit the bullet. I called a counselor. Yeah, Linksys tech support. Apparently I had configured the router improperly. Say what? Me? I was devastated. So, I ate my humble pie and did what "Sally" asked me to do. I factory rest the the EA7300V2. I changed the 2.4 and 5Ghz settings to what they asked. I sat and I waited. This night it was Always Sunny. You know the one where Frank climbs out of the couch? As soon as he squeezed his ginormous man boobs out the couch and almost showed his naked butt cheeks ... !!! Alas, no connection to the Internet. At this point I was perturbed. Not drunken dad mad, but you know the feeling. I checked my Surfboard. Ahh yes, a good girl. Still staring at me with her loving, blinking eyes. And then. Then I looked at the EA7300 V2. She had done it again. Now I am done. I called up my ex-router and asked her to come home. I also told EA7300 V2 that she needs to move out. She said, "Where will I go? What will I do?" I said, "Frankly Linksys EA7300V2, I don't give a damn." Long story short, I am returning this total piece of trash and buying a Netgear.