Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This has 20 different "relaxing" sounds it says. I think relaxing is very subjective. The first six or seven sounds are all white noise, they are just at different octaves and intensity. Another sound is rain-forest-like with birds chirping. If it's for ambiance, it will be fine. If you are trying to use it to sleep, there are several bird chirps that are so loud and piercing, they wake me up, the opposite effect. There are three or four different "fan" sounds. This is odd, because a real fan would be cheaper than this, and you'd get the benefit of a nice breeze. There are also some truly disturbing sounds, like a psycho or serial killer would like. There is one that is supposed to be a crackling fire. Um...not exactly. It sounds like a raging inferno at the gates of Hades. I'm talking, a raging blaze of a wild fire sweeping down on your family as you're about to be engulfed. The whistling wind option is more like a white out blizzard about to blow over the cabin and freeze your family to death. There is a rain option, that sounds like typhoon Irma washing away your village. There is a also a ticking clock. I've never thought of that as relaxing, similarly I've never thought of a slow drip in the shower as relaxing. Listening to the clock tick made me so tense. There are also several other very strange unidentifiable sounds. No joke, they sound like lost souls trapped between two worlds moaning in anguish. The most relaxing one is the ocean sound. Unfortunately its not a good sound to sleep to because of the varying decibel level. It's quiet, quiet, quiet, you start to drift off to sleep, then seventh wave comes and SWOOSH! Your awake! Kept jarring me out of sleep, I finally had to turn it off. My wife and I did have a good laugh wondering who thought these sounds were relaxing. Oh yeah, another one I forgot sounds like a swarm of locust descending on your crops and devouring everything in site while you realize you don't have enough money or seeds to replant in time for harvest. Truly, truly, disturbing. This thing literally gave me horrible nightmares. I'm not kidding I woke up in cold sweat thinking I was covered in hornets stinging me and filling my mouth and eyes and nose and I was choking to death on them blind while I was stung to death. A direct result of this sound machine. I might send it back, but I also might perform a cleansing ritual and have to destroy it in order to clear the bad jujube from our house.