Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

It was a warm June evening when I arrived home and discovered the large box outside my apartment, being absolutely clueless as to what it was, I logically dragged it inside, and started hacking away at the packaging, and that’s when “it” happened. The inner layer of shipping prison exploded, and soon my living room was full of the thing I had feared most; another drunken Amazon purchase. Defeated, I fell onto it and realized that god was real, and he was in this 600 square foot apartment. The next morning, “it” had grown in size at least 25%, and now dominates the entire dwelling. I make regular blood sacrifices as to not be consumed by the ever swelling comfort palace, sadly I haven’t seen my dog since.