Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I suspect something may be wrong with the Spalding intermediate size basketball because nearly every time I throw the ball with varying degrees of arc, it makes a loud, dischordant, reverberating sound against the rim and fails to adequately follow a path through the cylindrical oriface as I've seen the tall fellows on tv do. This is the second Spalding branded ball I've tried with these same poor results. My percentage of made shots to missed shots is vastly disproportionate in favor of the latter. One neighbor boy suggested my problem may be the result of my throwing "bricks" as he called them. I assured him I was, indeed, throwing a basketball and not masonic construction materials. The ball appears to be sufficiently radially symmetric with equal internal distribution of air and no external weather related inclimations or phenomena were noticeable nor reported in local media. However, when I attempt the bounce the ball as I move about the driveway, the ball doesn't always return to my hand and I've seen on tv. It often bounces off of my feet and rolls off to the neighbor's yard. Once, the ball returned very quickly into my groin area, seemingly defying Newtonion laws of motion as the amount of energy radiated into this sensitive area seemed to be exponentially higher than the amount of force propelled downward. I was at once fascinated with the idea that perhaps the angle of the driveway combined with the spin of the ball may have invoked the law of conservation of angular momentum. My fascination quickly subsided in indirect proportion to the amount of pain in my lower abdomen while I gingerly limped to my office to ponder where the physics was breaking down. I think the engineers at Spalding should re-examine the spherical geometry with consideration to Hertz's impact laws and the coefficient of restitution equation. Perhaps subsequent product offerings will deliver a more comparable performance to that of the lanky fellows on tv. I'll try a different brand to see if my results vary.