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I was woken at 3:30 this morning by loud thumps and bangs from my rear parlor/living room. Alarmed, and fearing burglars, I turned on the lights and rushed in, to be confronted with the spectacle of my recently-adopted cat, Sir Fergus the Fat, standing amongst a pile of books and other things he had knocked down from a glass-fronted bookcase. When I looked more closely, he was standing with all four paws, and all 16 of his furry pounds, on top of this box of Greenies, and pounding on the lid, in a (successful) effort to get it to come off. As I watched, he delicately inserted one of his paws into the box and fished out a treat, ate it, started to purr, and dove in after some more. By then I was awake, and grabbed the container, which I had put in a place that I had hoped was inaccessible to prevent Fergus from morphing from fat to morbidly to obese, out of his paws, and stuffed it in the refrigerator. Take that, fat cat. Perhaps these addictive treats should require prescriptions, as do opiates? I have another cat who will drag small bags of Greenies to the bedroom in the middle of the night and drop them on my face, so I thought I would try the bigger size container, and see how long it lasted us. Also, after a brief flirtation with "Temptations" cat treats, I wanted to see whether Greenies were worth the premium price. Tragically, it appears that my cats believe this to be the case. Don't misunderstand: a treat is a treat is a treat. But just as there is hamburger and filet mignon, there appear to be treats, and Greenies. I will say that after a lot of years noshing on Greenies, my two older cats, Molly (15) and Cassie (13), do have very good teeth. This may be correlation rather than causation, but I'm not doing anything special in terms of dental care, and my vet is v. pleased with their teeth. I do, however, have to strictly ration the Greenies to keep their weight under control. And I'm quite sure that Fergus will hate me forever now that he can't repeat his clever trick. Until, that is, he learns to open the refrigerator.