Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

So, let me just say that I have been a long time LoZ fan since the very first game. That means I have been playing since 1986. So, thirty years of making with the stab-stab in the Land of Hyrule has garnered me quite the warrior of legend reputation. No, correction. Nearly thirty years of saving freaking Princess Zelda over, and over, and over again. No, seriously. I get the whole "I'm reincarnated and don't know better" thing, but literally almost every time this girl gets abducted, it starts with some powerful dude from the Gerudo people showing up and wrecking the day. His name is always freaking the same. Not even sure how that is getting past Hyrulian immigration. Then I got to go on this long quest to save the world from being destroyed, all because this girl never cracked open a history book. At the end of the whole ordeal, what is the reward? Knowledge of a job well done and maybe a handshake. If I'm lucky. Finally got tired of the grind. Bought her off of Amazon and locked her inside a safe inside a box labeled "sand fleas." I figure any Gerudo warriors will see that box and be like "I hate sand fleas, no way I'm opening that." Ganon can look all he wants, it just isn't going to happen this time. As an added precaution, I put my Captain Falcon amiibo on top of it. So, I give this item five stars because it's going to save me so much time in the future. P.S. Works great with Smash Bros. Put her next to my Link amiibo, but they still won't kiss. Tried playing different songs from the series to enhance the mood, but the Song of Time always starts me back at square one.