Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I bought this book as a gift, but never gave it because I found I disagree with some of its central messages, which equate healthy self esteem with being sure you fit in with the crowd and always have at least a few friends around you. The authors confuse being an introvert or a rugged individual with having low self esteem - a big mistake! For example, the first quiz in the book asks girls what they would do if they had no plans for the weekend - the options include inviting the new girl from school over, calling for your neighbor, or just hanging out alone. All three sound okay to me, but here, the choice of hanging out alone is equated by the author of the book with "low self esteem." Really? Well, here's an idea, maybe it could be fun to hang out alone. Maybe you could craft, or clean your room, or hang out with your family, or catch up on TV, or practice your hook shot, or do any one of about a million worthwhile things - why on earth is that low self esteem? I thought maybe it was an isolated stupid question, but in the very same quiz, readers are asked, what are you thinking as you head toward the cafeteria? Are you, (a) hoping someone will sit with you so you don't have to eat alone? (b) wishing you could sit at a more crowded table instead of with just one friend? or (c) looking forward to hanging out with your all of your amazing friends. In this case, not great choices, but sitting alone sounds okay, so does sitting with one friend and so does sitting with a group of friends but here, the idea of sitting alone (a) is equated by the author with "low self esteem." Why? Maybe the girl in question wants to sit alone b/c she is hoping to read the next chapter in the awesome book she's working her way through. Maybe she just likes to sit alone because it gives her time to think. Or draw. Or daydream. Or work on the guest list for her upcoming birthday party. Or write a letter to a pen pal. Or get her homework done so she's free after school... I won't go through every example from the book, but I found many more - the overall message is fit in or die. Another problem I have with this book is the labeling it encourages. For example, they have a quiz about what kind of girl you find "cool" - turns out she is either "popular," "sporty," "smart," or "artsy." Seriously? Are girls that easy to stereotype? Do we really need to limit the girls in our life by labeling them as this or that? Can't you be both athletic and intelligent? Can't an artsy kid also enjoy sports? Overall, the authors really missed the boat here. I wish they had taken the perspective that healthy self esteem can manifest itself in many ways - including solitude and individuality! As it is, this book is a no-go for us.