Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

First, I apologize for having to give Ms. Steele a bad review on her first book. Let me start by saying I think she has a lot of potential and I encourage her to keep writing. Now, saying that, I didn't like this book for a number of reasons. There is very little depth to any of the characters - they all seem like cardboard versions of the characters we have read about in other mysteries. I didn't find Bella likeable at all - for a so-called hotshot detective working some of the most grisly murders she didn't seem to be able to control herself very well. And Mack ... we get to the first murder scene and he steps into evidence - not what you would expect from a veteran detective. We didn't get to know any of the characters at all ... and they small attempts to do that just felt confusing, contradictory, and inconsistent. The girls are shallow and petty, and their mothers are pretty much the same. The fathers are disengaged and don't know much about their families. Are we supposed to feel sorry for the drug dealers? And Vanderbilt? I want to go back and count how many times Vanderbilt - apparently the elite of the elite schools that all east coast girls want to get into - was mentioned in the book. I am guessing that either Ms. Steele or a close relative went there. But seriously, the whole "I know I get it to any other school but I wanted to go to VAAANNNDDDEERBBBIIIILLTTTT!! Sob!" just got old very quick. I have relatives that went to Vanderbilt ... good school, but not that big a deal. And to kill to get in there?? No. But I think what I found most confusing is the jerky dialogue and the descriptions of how characters react. "Where were you yesterday?" "Nowhere." But she looked upset. She had to be lying. The whole thing was just clunky. Nice idea, and with some practice ... and serious editing ... this will probably work well, but right now it reads like a beginner trying to write dialogue for the first time. (It isn't easy, I know, so just keep working at it!) I get the feeling Ms. Steele was writing dialogue based on the many mystery books she has read, but it just doesn't work. I am always a little surprised at how many five stars are given to books like this. In same ways I guess that is good, because it encourages others to read the author's books, and I firmly believe we should support and encourage new writers. But at the same time, we need to be honest about what works and what doesn't. I like the basic story, and all of the parts are there, but I just don't think this book works. Perhaps one reason is that it is too short. We don't need to get to know the characters very well, and if Ms. Steele had to add another 100 pages she would HAVE to spend more time fleshing out the characters. Also, despite the short length, this wasn't a riveting, fast paced book. Even the murder up front is quick and fairly mundane. Short "novellas' seem to be all the rage these days, but they can also lead to many shortcuts in order to get the reader to buy the next book. So, Ms. Steele, if I was too negative, I apologize. I think you have the potential to be a superb writer ... but not if you pay more attention to all of these pithy five-star reviews instead of continuing to work on your craft. Good luck!