Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

If you've ever seen the movie "Dumb and Dumber" then you're familiar with the scene where Lloyd surrepticiously doses Harry with something called "Turbo-Lax". I have experienced this exact agony after ingesting a serving of these toxic taste treats. Extremely painful intestinal spasms, followed by massive, explosive flatulence, followed by the harrowing ordeal of all my entrails trying to escape at once from my body through my corn chute. As I sat on the commode in mortal agony, my body attempting to turn itself inside out in a cloud of noxious fumes, the kids outside the bathroom door laughing and screaming "Mom, Dad pooped himself!", "I think Daddy's having a heart attack!", my wife pounding on the door, shouting "Are you alright? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!", the dogs barking furiously at the commotion - my single clear thought, there is still half-a-bag left...