Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I was trying to figure out if I was part of a social experiment since I am evidently the only person who HATES this product to the degree that I feel anger Then I realized most of the people who rated it received the product for free/at a discount. First of all, it comes with no directions, but I thought, "Hey, I have an advanced degree. I've got this. It's only suction cups." Evidently you need to be a wizard to get the suction to hold. I tried twisting the "patented" knobs every possible way. I did it on dry, slightly wet, and saturated surfaces. At one point I thought I had it, hung up "Hurley" and added a few small toys. It fell within a minute. I had relatives try. Even if hypothetically I got him to stay, he needs to be hung out of reach of the bathing child because there's no way to secure him on the hooks as it's just an open loop. What child would not just take him off, rendering him useless? I'm so disappointed in this product and am still shocked at the reviews, because even if he were free, I'd hate him.