104
people found this helpful, as of 2023
ranked #250,234 most helpful
out of 571,544,897 reviews
★☆☆☆☆
Like an icepick to the temple...
...this book will make you want to slam your fingers in a car door just to stop the pain in your head. After I finished this book I just sat and stared dumbly at a wall for 10 minutes thinking, "Arrr?" How could this be a Steven King book? And after the previous books in the series were so good! What happened? A few things that particularly bothered me (and probably you too (Spoiler warning):
1. Mordred: An entire book to build up this character. Nevermind the fact that he's kind of some cheesy spider-man weirdo. We'll accept it, because he's gonna have an epic battle with Roland that will span chapters and wow us all. Right? What's that? Roland shoots him by a campfire and he dies in 2 paragraphs, rendering his entire existence meaningless? Oh. Nevermind.
2. The Crimson King: Ok, so Mordred sucked. But the CK will be awesome! Some really big bad dude that Roland will have a tough time beating. Maybe Roland won't even win! I can't wait! Huh? The CK ends up being some crazy old guy hopping around on a balcony who throws hand grenades at Roland? No way. Steven wouldn't do that to us. CK is like the equivalent to Sauron, or Shai'Tan. He's much tougher than that. And what else? He is defeated by being PAINTED OUT OF EXISTENCE? What? I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
3. The epilogue: Alright so the villains really sucked. But at least the Dark Tower itself will rock! Can't wait for Roland to climb to the top and achieve his quest. Who knows what adventures he'll have inside? Oh wait. Before that, it's a message from Steven King. And he tells us not to expect a good ending. Huh. Gotta tell ya Stevey, that kind of bummed me out. And after the actual ending, King hits us with another dose of suck, telling us not to bother sending him letters about how much we hated the book. It's like his preemptive strike. He knew his book was awful, put no effort into the ending, so instead attacks the READER, and chides us for expecting a good ending! Not sure what's going on here, but man if it didn't make me hate King.
