Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This is the last book by this author I will read. If I open the door, will he say this? Or will he say that? Or will he say this or that? Or maybe he won't say anything? Maybe he's not behind the door? If he is not behind the door, what will I do? What will I say? Geez, just open the darn door to see if he is there and what he will say. WAY too much wasting time building up to what may or may not happen. I've lost my interest by the time the door gets opened.