Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Brad Pitt in Outer Space, in a sci-fi adventure! Sounds great until you actually see this movie and then all of a sudden remember that he also helped produce (with Angelina Jolie) the 2015 movie “By The Sea”. Same slooooow boring pace, lots of boooring prolonged closeups, meant to indicate Profound Moments of the character getting the closeup and yet ultimately signifying nothing, same sort of idiotic nonsensical plot with utterly vapid supposed Plot Twist ("I'm ............... BARREN!"). I won’t even get into the really awful work done in designing the sets for a Moon base and Mars base. Escalators? Really? Like in an Earth shopping mall? Why not just jump the ten feet to the next floor? In fact why do people walk around like they are still on Earth instead of bouncing up and down like they would be doing in the much lower gravities of the Moon and Mars? ***SPOILER ALERTS*** Why are there even any other actors in this movie besides Brad Pitt? Characters come in and then get disposed of quickly. What’s with the Moon pirates? Just how the heck do you hide the vast life support structure needed for a .... pirate ... base ... on ... the ... Moon? (Gaaaag!). And If they were as incompetent as depicted, Brad Pitt being able to wipe them all out single handedly, why are they still there? WTF with the stop on their way to Mars to answer a distress call from a biomedical research spaceship, which turns out to be occupied mainly by an angry baboon run amok? Why do you need to do experiments on baboons in space near Mars? Why not in Earth orbit? And yes, it was a very bad idea to make this stop. Unless you’ve invented a spaceship that can propel itself MUCH faster than 53,979 mph, the speed of Mars as it orbits the Sun, traveling to Mars is generally going to be a precision rendezvous with certain time windows in which you can catch Mars as it swings by. Otherwise you’ll be chasing after Mars trying to close the distance if you miss it, or you’ll have to wait nearly TWO EARTH YEARS for it to come around again. Ugh, the worst plot holes involved the Mars segments. Brad Pitt has a momentary breakdown when he discovers that *gasp* his father had killed off the crew of his spaceship in order to continue his trip to Neptune. So he gets kicked off the spaceship crew sent to blow up his father. So he has to sneak his way back swimming (in his space suit) through some sort of Martian water main or sewer pipe which conveniently leads right to the base of the spaceship, and then arduously climb some 200-300 feet up the side of the rocket ( it wouldn’t be that hard on Mars - Mars gravity is 38% of Earth’s) and then just OPEN A HATCH and let himself in (Mars has a very thin atmosphere - a near vacuum at 1% of the pressure of Earth). And then the real fun begins. The incomprehensibly incompetent crew of PC-diversity Asian male, black male, black female, and token white male accidentally kill themselves trying to get rid of him. Then Brad Pitt flies to Neptune and blows up his father’s spaceship and his father kills himself anyway. WTF again, wasn’t that what the original crew was going to do anyway? Oh, and there’s this scene with the standard Hollywood trope of Pitt’s spaceship just catching the blast wave of the nuclear explosion to help propel him back to Earth. Not. There’s no atmosphere in space to carry a blast wave, the radiation of the nuclear explosion will travel at or near the speed of light and the blast would fry the ship if it was still close enough to feel the blast energy Ugh, ugh, ugh